
Seems thorium's radioactivity is mostly emitted as alpha particles which we all know don't travel too far from home. But it does explain Uncle Willard's problem with his right testacle which shriveled up like a raisin back in the 70s. Seems back in Willard's woodsman days he used to carry spare mantles in the watch pocket of his Levis.
Also explains why Cousin Cole has six fingers on his left hand.
Man can he play the banjo.